I'm not going to die even though at times it may feel like it.. I'm going to be just fine. I have been for the last 3 years so I'm pretty sure I can handle another.
In my case I had rare case of colitis in which my entire colon and rectum were inflamed -
Usually with light medication and remedies there is a solution BUT again in my case I was allergic or had side effects to almost everything.
I was beginning to give up and as I tried asacol, steroids, humira, 6mp, and remicade infusions. Nothing seemed to work and stress and anxiety only added to my list of reasons why I would flare up. I never really went into remission. My colon was pretty upset the entire 3 years. I was diagnosed when I was about 6 months pregnant. I always felt like something was wrong in Highschool but it isn't something you Normally talk about in home room, at volleyball practice or with your Highschool boyfriend. What are you suppose to say, "hey-- I'm bleeding through my butt!" It wasn't the normal talk you had that dinner table either with your parents.
So here I am bleeding at 6 months pregnant and I finally had to admit that something was not right with my body. As scared as I was the only thing I needed to know was that my baby was going to be okay. So many nights at the hospital and in and out of the emergency room. Nights where Malia's dad had to hold back my hair and sleep in the restroom with me, holding my hand and reassuring me that we were going to get through this.
The doctors promised that once my baby was born my colitis would pretty much go away.
But they were wrong. It only got worse and I spent nights in the hospital alone. Where I was throwing up and pooping blood. Nothing I did made it better. I developed kidney stones, anxiety, mood swings and I was unable to be myself. I always worried what-if I have an accident. I always need a restroom present. I was having between 8-15 bowel movements a day. My social life went out the door because I couldn't even enjoy a night out without feeling sick or fear I might just have an accident.
I'll skip most of the detail stuff. Things always got worse before they ever had a chance to get better. I was sick and believe me I was pretty good at hiding it. Everyone at work would always say you don't look sick but there were days when I just wished they could be in my shoes. That's one thing I always did was put my shoes on at 4 in the morning and went to work. . .
I had a baby to support at home and I was going to do whatever it took. Even if I felt my worse nobody could ever tell.
So ulcerative colitis to me:
Was losing weight. I was 125 by the time I had Malia then I gained about 20 pounds and by Christmas in 2009 I was 105 pounds.
I couldn't eat anything, it always made me sick. And the pain was so intense and extreme I would throw up between 3-5 times a day. The medications caused anxiety, break outs on my face, Swollen face which I hated and they just didn't seem to work because every time I went to the doctor my colon was still inflamed.
So as I faced a difficult time my colitis only got worse.
I was hospitalized for about a week in Fresno, CA before I was transferred to Cedar senai where I met the most amazing surgeon. I almost forgot to mention I didn't just have one doctor or two but four doctors who helped diagnose my colitis. A friend who is very dear to my heart named Elyse introduced me to Dr. Dubinsky who has been a true angel.
Through her I was introduced to Dr. Fleshner.
So the picture you see above is my new friend Stoma-lily.
My new friend which will be apart of my life for another six months.
Blog to follow regarding my ostomy bag!
Xo Kayla.
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