Tomorrow is the big day and I feel like I'm starting my first day of junior high. I'm not sure if any of you remember that moment, but I do. I was nervous, scared, excited and had butterflies in my stomach. A huge mix of emotions that I didn't really know how to handle and take it all in. Right now I'm not too sure what emotion to wear on my face. Do I smile because I'm happy and excited to be another step closer or do I cry because I'm nervous and feel quite sick to my tummy. If I cry I might show that I'm weak and I'm nothing close to that. . . It's just that minute you wake up and the pain is so excruciating.. You can't cry because it hurts. You can't laugh because it hurts and you can't move because it hurts. Everyone keeps asking if I'm okay, "yes, I'm okay" and I won't cry. With an overflow of emails, texts & phone calls. Tomorrow.. I am going to be ready.
A prayer that's dear to my heart.
"Lord I pray a hedge of protection for Kayla, I pray you give her peace in her mind, heart and her spirit. I pray for minimal pain, but I ask for heavenly favor and ask that she not have ANY pain at ALL, we serve a big God who can do BIG miracles. So Lord I ask for your protection for Kayla and her daughter Malia, in Jesus Name, by faith , I thank You in advance for the great healing You will do in Kayla's life".
Love you all.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Mercury, I hate you.
Mercury and food intolerances: common causes of chronic conditions related to leaky gut and intestinal dysfunction such as ulcerative colitis, IBS, Crohn’s, eczema, psoriasis, food allergies, arthritis, ADHD, and autoimmune disease; and treatments that improve these conditions. Mercury causes significant destruction of stomach and intestine epithelial cells, resulting in damage to stomach lining which along with mercury’s ability to bind to SH hydroxyl radical in cell membranesalters permeability and adversely alters bacterial populations in the intestines causing leaky gut syndrome with toxic,incompletely digested complexes in the blood and accumulation of heliobacter pylori, a suspected major factor instomach ulcers and stomach cancer and Candida albicans,as well as poor nutrient absorption.
Dental amalgam has been found by thousands of medical lab tests and by medical studies to be the largest source of mercury exposure in most people who have several amalgam fillings. Replacement of amalgam fillings and metals detoxification have been found to significantly improve the health of most with conditions related to bowel dysfunction and leaky gut syndrome.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Thank you.
 |
Just a few more days left, two to be exact. Even though I know i'm strong and I have friend's, family and complete strangers praying for me. It's tough. It's just trying to wrap my head around all of this, and to finally say "Kayla, you've come this far, you can finish strong." I know everything will be just fine and that God is going to be with me, holding my hand. And the doctor's hand, but i'm scared. It's only natural, I am a human being. Just crazy. To think how I got here and with so many people supporting me. It's just amazing. That you all care. To open this blog and read it. To write me a message, a comment, a text and a phone call. To know you're praying for me. God brought so many people into my life and i'm beyond thankful. Love you all. and you know i'll be keeping you updated through my blog during my stay in the hospital. GOD BLESS. |
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
One week from today!
My surgery is one week from today and I am an emotional wreck. I finally cried after this 5 months of leading up to my surgery, I broke down.
Part of me is extremely happy to be another step closer to having my life back.
But then the rest of me is so nervous and scared. The thought of reopening scar-tissue freaks me out. I remember sharing a room with a woman who had a c-section the 3rd time and she was screaming, crying and whining. She was driving the nurses crazy and wanted more and more pain killers. In that moment all I could be thankful for--was that God gave Malia to me all Natural and no scars, cuts and pain.
So that thought and image is still lingering in my head. I'm afraid more then having a child, raising a child, ulcerative colitis, kidney stones, all the needles, long nights, and even more afraid of this next surgery then the dark and if you know me very well, I'm deathly afraid of the dark.
I know to leave this all in God's hands.
And to be thankful for having this opportunity to have the j-pouch.
My second surgery will consist of: the J-pouch and removing the rest of my colitis in my rectum. So goodbye rectum but you and I haven't gotten a long in a very long time and it will be better for the both of us if we part ways.
The ileoanal reservoir procedure is a surgical treatment option for chronic ulcerative colitis, colon cancer and familial polyposis patients who need to have their large intestine (colon) removed. An ileoanal reservoir (or pouch) is an internal pouch formed of small intestine. This pouch provides a storage place for stool in the absence of the large intestine. Anal sphincter muscles assist in holding in the stool. Several times a day, stool is passed through the anus.
Just some information for the both of us to read on what to expect for
The second surgery (usually done 2-3 months after the first) "takes down" or removes the ileostomy and reconnects the bowel. The pouch now becomes functional so that waste passes into the pouch, where it is stored. When an "urge" is felt, the stool can be passed through the anus, out of the body. In most cases, the second surgery can be done at the ileostomy site without re-opening the first incision. The skin at the former ileostomy site is usually left to close on its own.
What to expect after the second surgery:
Once a patient starts passing stool through the anus, stools are frequent and liquid. There may be accompanying urgency and leakage of stool. All of these aspects improve over time as the anal sphincter muscles strengthen and the pouch adapts to its new function. Stools become thicker as the small intestine absorbs more water. In addition, medications to decrease bowel activity and bulk-forming agents to thicken the stool may be prescribed. Patients can help during this adaptation process by avoiding foods that may cause gas, diarrhea and anal irritation. Careful skin care around the anus will protect the skin from the irritation of frequent stools. Continuing anal sphincter muscles exercises (Kegel Exercises) during this time is also beneficial. After six months, most people can expect about five to six semi-formed bowel movements during the day and one at night. The pouch takes up to one year to fully adapt. In most patients, functioning of the pouch continues to improve over time.
So with that information I just ask for my loved ones to help me in continuing prayers. And your wonderful words and support. And after this procedure I will be Ulcerative Colitis Free! Regardless of the outcome of the surgery and if the j-pouch will be successful. Since I'm not quite there yet but only hope and pray everything goes well. I'm just thankful I was given the opportunity to be allowed to do this procedure with the help of my parents and their wonderful health insurance, friends for the great support and Doctor Fleshner for being such an awesome surgeon.
February 26th at 7:15 am.
Part of me is extremely happy to be another step closer to having my life back.
But then the rest of me is so nervous and scared. The thought of reopening scar-tissue freaks me out. I remember sharing a room with a woman who had a c-section the 3rd time and she was screaming, crying and whining. She was driving the nurses crazy and wanted more and more pain killers. In that moment all I could be thankful for--was that God gave Malia to me all Natural and no scars, cuts and pain.
So that thought and image is still lingering in my head. I'm afraid more then having a child, raising a child, ulcerative colitis, kidney stones, all the needles, long nights, and even more afraid of this next surgery then the dark and if you know me very well, I'm deathly afraid of the dark.
I know to leave this all in God's hands.
And to be thankful for having this opportunity to have the j-pouch.
My second surgery will consist of: the J-pouch and removing the rest of my colitis in my rectum. So goodbye rectum but you and I haven't gotten a long in a very long time and it will be better for the both of us if we part ways.
The ileoanal reservoir procedure is a surgical treatment option for chronic ulcerative colitis, colon cancer and familial polyposis patients who need to have their large intestine (colon) removed. An ileoanal reservoir (or pouch) is an internal pouch formed of small intestine. This pouch provides a storage place for stool in the absence of the large intestine. Anal sphincter muscles assist in holding in the stool. Several times a day, stool is passed through the anus.
Just some information for the both of us to read on what to expect for
The second surgery (usually done 2-3 months after the first) "takes down" or removes the ileostomy and reconnects the bowel. The pouch now becomes functional so that waste passes into the pouch, where it is stored. When an "urge" is felt, the stool can be passed through the anus, out of the body. In most cases, the second surgery can be done at the ileostomy site without re-opening the first incision. The skin at the former ileostomy site is usually left to close on its own.
What to expect after the second surgery:
Once a patient starts passing stool through the anus, stools are frequent and liquid. There may be accompanying urgency and leakage of stool. All of these aspects improve over time as the anal sphincter muscles strengthen and the pouch adapts to its new function. Stools become thicker as the small intestine absorbs more water. In addition, medications to decrease bowel activity and bulk-forming agents to thicken the stool may be prescribed. Patients can help during this adaptation process by avoiding foods that may cause gas, diarrhea and anal irritation. Careful skin care around the anus will protect the skin from the irritation of frequent stools. Continuing anal sphincter muscles exercises (Kegel Exercises) during this time is also beneficial. After six months, most people can expect about five to six semi-formed bowel movements during the day and one at night. The pouch takes up to one year to fully adapt. In most patients, functioning of the pouch continues to improve over time.
So with that information I just ask for my loved ones to help me in continuing prayers. And your wonderful words and support. And after this procedure I will be Ulcerative Colitis Free! Regardless of the outcome of the surgery and if the j-pouch will be successful. Since I'm not quite there yet but only hope and pray everything goes well. I'm just thankful I was given the opportunity to be allowed to do this procedure with the help of my parents and their wonderful health insurance, friends for the great support and Doctor Fleshner for being such an awesome surgeon.
February 26th at 7:15 am.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Rite-Aid Attack.
My morning started off great. I was feeling like my old-self again and just relaxed. Malia is with her father for the weekend so
It's giving me some time to just take it easy. I had mild to moderate pain in my upper abdomen like yesterday but nothing nearly as painful. I had to fill my prescription so I slowly got myself dressed and headed to Rite-Aid. As I'm pulling up to the intersection the excruciating pain in my upper abdomen was coming back and my first thought was to pull-over but I just kept telling myself I'm stronger than this and maybe if I don't think about it.. It will just go away.
I walk into rite-aid fill my prescription and in that moment I wanted to just throw myself on the floor but I knew I was there alone and people might just think I'm crazy. 15 minute wait and my medications were going to be ready, again I reassured myself that it was going to be okay.
I phoned my mother because at that moment in time she's the only one I wanted to talk too and even though she's miles away I knew she could make everything all feel better.
I walked up and down the aisles because I wanted to surprise my cousin Andrew with a Valentine's day gift.
I was successful. BUT the pain only grew. I went to sit down in the back and my body began to get super hot and I felt like I was going to pass out from the stabbing pain. My aunt called me to let me know she was on here way. Thank god I didn't have Malia with me.
As I'm sitting there the tears started to roll down my face because I just wanted it to be a great day. And I think I'm a little scared that this pain might be acid reflux and heartburn and all those things you experience when you have Crohn's disease.
There's a possibility that my ulcerative
Colitis can turn into Crohn's but I don't know if I could handle that. I've been enjoying eating all my foods and if I'm limited to things that cause me acid reflux now and heart burn. I don't know how well I'm going to be able to handle that and swallow it all.
I know I must stay positive and pray but it's like one thing after another and of course more medication that I have to remember to take and depend on.
My Rite-Aid attack felt so awful and I was scared. My first thought was what if I pass out would anyone help me?
Today was suppose to be filled with roses and chocolates and a delicious dinner setting with my beautiful aunt and uncle. Not sleep the day away in pain..
Let's just hope tomorrow's a better day.
It's giving me some time to just take it easy. I had mild to moderate pain in my upper abdomen like yesterday but nothing nearly as painful. I had to fill my prescription so I slowly got myself dressed and headed to Rite-Aid. As I'm pulling up to the intersection the excruciating pain in my upper abdomen was coming back and my first thought was to pull-over but I just kept telling myself I'm stronger than this and maybe if I don't think about it.. It will just go away.
I walk into rite-aid fill my prescription and in that moment I wanted to just throw myself on the floor but I knew I was there alone and people might just think I'm crazy. 15 minute wait and my medications were going to be ready, again I reassured myself that it was going to be okay.
I phoned my mother because at that moment in time she's the only one I wanted to talk too and even though she's miles away I knew she could make everything all feel better.
I walked up and down the aisles because I wanted to surprise my cousin Andrew with a Valentine's day gift.
I was successful. BUT the pain only grew. I went to sit down in the back and my body began to get super hot and I felt like I was going to pass out from the stabbing pain. My aunt called me to let me know she was on here way. Thank god I didn't have Malia with me.
As I'm sitting there the tears started to roll down my face because I just wanted it to be a great day. And I think I'm a little scared that this pain might be acid reflux and heartburn and all those things you experience when you have Crohn's disease.
There's a possibility that my ulcerative
Colitis can turn into Crohn's but I don't know if I could handle that. I've been enjoying eating all my foods and if I'm limited to things that cause me acid reflux now and heart burn. I don't know how well I'm going to be able to handle that and swallow it all.
I know I must stay positive and pray but it's like one thing after another and of course more medication that I have to remember to take and depend on.
My Rite-Aid attack felt so awful and I was scared. My first thought was what if I pass out would anyone help me?
Today was suppose to be filled with roses and chocolates and a delicious dinner setting with my beautiful aunt and uncle. Not sleep the day away in pain..
Let's just hope tomorrow's a better day.
The last few days.
As you all may know-- I've been experiencing a tough week. For the last five months I've felt no pain, no colitis and actually pretty happy with the outcome of my surgery. The only complaint I had was that my doctor wanted me to watch my food in-take and lose weight. Like I hadn't been losing weight and watching what I was eating for the last 3 years of my life. Give me a break. Food has been everything to me. Especially all the bad things I couldn't have I wanted more of.
This morning at 3 am I woke with excruciating upper abdomen pain and it was like somebody was stabbing me
Over and over again. The pain was shooting to my lower back and if I laid on my bed it only got worse. I also felt very nauseous and I wanted to cry my eyes out or hold my mother's hand like I was a child. It was a pain I have never experienced in my life and I hope I never have to experience it again. It lasted until about 10 am. I was finally able to close my eyes and get a little bit of rest before we had to rush to the hospital.
I must add: two weeks ago I started bleeding a large amount from my rectum and if you don't already know. NOTHiNG comes from back there anymore since my colostomy. . So it was pretty scary. My doctor wanted to see me right away. He prescribed enemas which I absolute hate and I think they hate me too, so since those I've been doing okay but not the best. He just keeps counting down until my surgery and tells me to hang on. Only a few more weeks to go.
I'll be completely Ulcerative Colitis free.
And I only pray and hope I can move on from this.
To all of you out there: you have showed me such great support and your words make me feel so good. To know you have people rooting for you and holding your hand through this entire process makes you want to keep fighting harder and put your game face on.. To make everyone proud!
So I will continue to do that: for 13 more days and If I break down to cry for just a moment bare with me.
I'll pick myself back up with the help of my family and friends and I'll smile like I do everyday. . .
Thank you for all the support.
This morning at 3 am I woke with excruciating upper abdomen pain and it was like somebody was stabbing me
Over and over again. The pain was shooting to my lower back and if I laid on my bed it only got worse. I also felt very nauseous and I wanted to cry my eyes out or hold my mother's hand like I was a child. It was a pain I have never experienced in my life and I hope I never have to experience it again. It lasted until about 10 am. I was finally able to close my eyes and get a little bit of rest before we had to rush to the hospital.
I must add: two weeks ago I started bleeding a large amount from my rectum and if you don't already know. NOTHiNG comes from back there anymore since my colostomy. . So it was pretty scary. My doctor wanted to see me right away. He prescribed enemas which I absolute hate and I think they hate me too, so since those I've been doing okay but not the best. He just keeps counting down until my surgery and tells me to hang on. Only a few more weeks to go.
I'll be completely Ulcerative Colitis free.
And I only pray and hope I can move on from this.
To all of you out there: you have showed me such great support and your words make me feel so good. To know you have people rooting for you and holding your hand through this entire process makes you want to keep fighting harder and put your game face on.. To make everyone proud!
So I will continue to do that: for 13 more days and If I break down to cry for just a moment bare with me.
I'll pick myself back up with the help of my family and friends and I'll smile like I do everyday. . .
Thank you for all the support.
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