Trying to understand.

I think there's always been a part of me that needs to express herself. I have to let everything I had or have been feeling out. It's not always good to keep it bottled up inside, I mean that can't really be good for anyone right? I always try to understand things and put a why by it for instance "why was I diagnosed with colitis?" I mean why is anyone ever diagnosed with a disease. A lady I once met at my remicade infusion told me because sweetie God knew you could handle it over anyone else close to you. And yeah, I wouldn't want to give or wish this disease upon anyone close to me or anyone at all. But why did he think I could handle it? I know it's not the worse thing in the world and trust me I've gotten pass the worse I think, but still I always have to question why and I always have to try and understand things. Everything for that matter. I'm so grateful for my family & friends. Especially my parents for everything they have done for me when they didn't have to or shouldn't have. 
Without them who knows where I'd be. They give me great insurance because someone with my condition sure can rack up medical bills so I'm beyond thankful for that. My mom works her butt off to give me that benefit and I don't know if I've ever expressed how thankful I am for her and all the many things my parents have done the last 24 years for me, but everyday before I go to bed. I'm thankful and I'm grateful for them. They are my backbone and they have given me so much strength. I don't know how they stay so strong and one day I'm gonna to re-pay those two amazing people in my life.
God thank you for my parents and thank you for always being by my side even if I ask silly questions and always try to understand why. I know you wouldn't give me anything I couldn't handle. That's exactly why I'm able to write this because I know what will always be my answer, you gave me parents that would go to the end of the world for their children and that's all ill ever need. My mom and dad by my side. Holding my hand through this entire process...