The last few days.

As you all may know-- I've been experiencing a tough week. For the last five months I've felt no pain, no colitis and actually pretty happy with the outcome of my surgery. The only complaint I had was that my doctor wanted me to watch my food in-take and lose weight. Like I hadn't been losing weight and watching what I was eating for the last 3 years of my life. Give me a break. Food has been everything to me. Especially all the bad things I couldn't have I wanted more of.

This morning at 3 am I woke with excruciating upper abdomen pain and it was like somebody was stabbing me
Over and over again. The pain was shooting to my lower back and if I laid on my bed it only got worse. I also felt very nauseous and I wanted to cry my eyes out or hold my mother's hand like I was a child. It was a pain I have never experienced in my life and I hope I never have to experience it again. It lasted until about 10 am. I was finally able to close my eyes and get a little bit of rest before we had to rush to the hospital.

I must add: two weeks ago I started bleeding a large amount from my rectum and if you don't already know. NOTHiNG comes from back there anymore since my colostomy. . So it was pretty scary. My doctor wanted to see me right away. He prescribed enemas which I absolute hate and I think they hate me too, so since those I've been doing okay but not the best. He just keeps counting down until my surgery and tells me to hang on. Only a few more weeks to go.

I'll be completely Ulcerative Colitis free.
And I only pray and hope I can move on from this.
To all of you out there: you have showed me such great support and your words make me feel so good. To know you have people rooting for you and holding your hand through this entire process makes you want to keep fighting harder and put your game face on.. To make everyone proud!
So I will continue to do that: for 13 more days and If I break down to cry for just a moment bare with me.

I'll pick myself back up with the help of my family and friends and I'll smile like I do everyday. . .


Thank you for all the support.