One week from today!

My surgery is one week from today and I am an emotional wreck. I finally cried after this 5 months of leading up to my surgery, I broke down.
Part of me is extremely happy to be another step closer to having my life back.
But then the rest of me is so nervous and scared. The thought of reopening scar-tissue freaks me out. I remember sharing a room with a woman who had a c-section the 3rd time and she was screaming, crying and whining. She was driving the nurses crazy and wanted more and more pain killers. In that moment all I could be thankful for--was that God gave Malia to me all Natural and no scars, cuts and pain.
So that thought and image is still lingering in my head. I'm afraid more then having a child, raising a child, ulcerative colitis, kidney stones, all the needles, long nights, and even more afraid of this next surgery then the dark and if you know me very well, I'm deathly afraid of the dark.
I know to leave this all in God's hands.
And to be thankful for having this opportunity to have the j-pouch.

My second surgery will consist of: the J-pouch and removing the rest of my colitis in my rectum. So goodbye rectum but you and I haven't gotten a long in a very long time and it will be better for the both of us if we part ways.


The ileoanal reservoir procedure is a surgical treatment option for chronic ulcerative colitis, colon cancer and familial polyposis patients who need to have their large intestine (colon) removed. An ileoanal reservoir (or pouch) is an internal pouch formed of small intestine. This pouch provides a storage place for stool in the absence of the large intestine. Anal sphincter muscles assist in holding in the stool. Several times a day, stool is passed through the anus.

Just some information for the both of us to read on what to expect for
The second surgery (usually done 2-3 months after the first) "takes down" or removes the ileostomy and reconnects the bowel. The pouch now becomes functional so that waste passes into the pouch, where it is stored. When an "urge" is felt, the stool can be passed through the anus, out of the body. In most cases, the second surgery can be done at the ileostomy site without re-opening the first incision. The skin at the former ileostomy site is usually left to close on its own.
What to expect after the second surgery:
Once a patient starts passing stool through the anus, stools are frequent and liquid. There may be accompanying urgency and leakage of stool. All of these aspects improve over time as the anal sphincter muscles strengthen and the pouch adapts to its new function. Stools become thicker as the small intestine absorbs more water. In addition, medications to decrease bowel activity and bulk-forming agents to thicken the stool may be prescribed. Patients can help during this adaptation process by avoiding foods that may cause gas, diarrhea and anal irritation. Careful skin care around the anus will protect the skin from the irritation of frequent stools. Continuing anal sphincter muscles exercises (Kegel Exercises) during this time is also beneficial. After six months, most people can expect about five to six semi-formed bowel movements during the day and one at night. The pouch takes up to one year to fully adapt. In most patients, functioning of the pouch continues to improve over time.

So with that information I just ask for my loved ones to help me in continuing prayers. And your wonderful words and support. And after this procedure I will be Ulcerative Colitis Free! Regardless of the outcome of the surgery and if the j-pouch will be successful. Since I'm not quite there yet but only hope and pray everything goes well. I'm just thankful I was given the opportunity to be allowed to do this procedure with the help of my parents and their wonderful health insurance, friends for the great support and Doctor Fleshner for being such an awesome surgeon.

February 26th at 7:15 am.